group rides and the art of community

I have been trying to get the time to write this for over two weeks now. I still don't have the time, but I am making the time to do this.

My last two entries have been about roads and part of that has to do with the recent purchase of a bicycle. I have been exploring the communities around me and taking many back roads to interesting destinations. Sometimes I ride alone and other times there are planned "group rides" that I join.

I have been on a number of group rides lately with groups as large as 10 and as small as 3. On a recent morning ride with two other guys (total of 3) I started to realize, or God was showing me something about community. Because it was just the 3 of us, it reminded me of the trinity and how it must work. Then I started to notice all of the similarities between community and these group rides.

1. There is always a leader for the ride - The leader of each ride is the guy with the route planned and the map. He is the one who gives direction during the ride and the one to consult with when you might not know where you are. He is not in front the whole time leading, although he can be at times. The truth is that it is hard to be in front all of the time. The guy in front is always facing the resistance of the wind and he also creates a pocket, or draft, for the other riders to ride behind. During a long ride many riders will share the responsibility of leading in front of the pack.

2. There is rest in the draft - When you are not in front it is important to stay close to the riders in front of you so that you can get the benefit of the draft. Pedaling is much easier tucked in behind a bunch of riders. Actually there are times when you can stop pedaling and coast while the person in front continues to pedal. I like leading sometimes. I feel like I am almost sharing my strength with the others. When I am tired I like to rest behind the others. By the way there is no draft on the uphill climbs! We ride together, but much slower and it is hard work for everyone.

3. There is verbal communication - When you have 10 riders tightly bunched in a pack riding at 20+ MPH there has to be communication. There is verbal communication to warn other riders of cars. Car Back, means there is a car coming from the rear and you need to get over to the right. Once someone in the group announces something it seems as though all of the riders repeat it, just to make sure everyone heard. The other verbal communication comes in the form of just chatting with a rider next to you and seeing how they are doing, talking about the weather, or sports is always a good topic!

4. There is non-verbal communication - Again, when the riders are all bunched up it is hard for the riders in the middle and rear to see the road in front of them. Riders use hand signals to warn of obstacles in the roadway. A simple pointed finger means there is a single obstacle (rock, limb, etc..), and waving your hand in a brushing motion away from your bike signifies larger obstacles like gravel, glass or bushes (weeds) that are pressing into the roadway.

5. There is a common goal - When you start off on the ride you consult with the ride leader and find out the course and the total miles you will be riding. Together you all embark on a journey. Each rider knows that there is a shared responsibility for leading at times (when you can), for communicating, and for making sure no one has troubles, like flats. Exercise is also the common goal, but the more I ride on these rides the less I am convinced of that. I think these guys like getting together and sharing a journey together.

That is what we were made for!

We were made for connection, community and relationship.

I on the other hand believe the lie that ultimately I am on my own! I don't need anyone, and frankly no one really cares. So I go on these rides and think if I could just break away I could get this ride done faster. I am faster than these guys! I can do this on my own, what do I need them for? Really, that is what I think. I am forcing myself to slow down the pace, chat with a few of the guys and enjoy the community.

new roads - cont'd

Just listened to this tune the other day and I thought I would post the lyrics. It goes so well with my last blog post about new roads. The song is "The Maker of the Road", by Michael English.

The Maker of the Road

I can't see in front of me
I'm too scared to move
Fear has come, blinding me
I don't know what to do
Something tells me I worry for nothing
And my heart reminds me of one thing

Lord you are the maker of the road
You know where I'm going
I don't have to worry
Cause you have gone before me
I won't be afraid
I can face tomorrow
Because the one I follow
Is the maker of the road

Funny thing is that I have owned this sone for more than 3-4 years and the first time I heard it was about a week ago. Somehow it was on my iPod shuffle and I was on my Sunday morning bike ride (my worship time). I kept repeating the song over and over because I couldn't believe I didn't know this song.

God works in wonderful ways is all I can say!

new roads

I was driving down the interstate the other day on my way to Atlanta, just listening to some tunes and thinking about my big presentation the next day. Just south of Chattanooga there was some new construction going on and it looked like a new strip mall, or subdivision? Anyway, there was a road that was under construction to access the mall/subdivision. That new road really got my attention, and I remember saying out loud:

I like new roads!

Where did that come from? Really? I like new roads?

I spent the rest of the trip really chewing on that and asking the question Why do I like new roads. The thought process was amazing and it took me from childhood to present day and God really taught me some things along the way.

I like new roads because: it reminds me of when I was a kid playing with Hot Wheels cars in the dirt with my friends. I grew up in Florida and we had that "sugar sand", and my friends and I would play for hours building elaborate roadways complete with tunnels and race tracks. We would build the roads, drive our cars on them until the wheels of the cars wouldn't turn anymore, because they were clogged with sand. The next day we would just mess up the sand and build all new ones!

I remember the imagination I once had. I think it is still there, but oh so hard to find!

I like new roads because it is a symbol of a new path, a new adventure. Where will this road lead to? Who will drive on it? There is something intriguing about seeing something evolve and become part of the landscape that wasn't there before. Sometimes these new roads can save us time, and sometimes they can introduce us to things we have never seen or experienced before.

Sometimes old roads can be new roads!

Recently I purchased a new (to me) road bike. It has been a joy to ride! I ride every Sunday morning before church and put on some worship music and ride 20+ miles. It is wonderful worship experience. In order to get more miles in I met up with a group that does rides every Thursday night. I hooked up with the group that was going to ride 24 miles. We took off and within 5 miles we were on roads I have never been on, and didn't know where they went. I have lived here for 10 years and these roads are within 5 miles of my house! We rode on beautiful back roads with very little traffic and it was awesome. Well, they left me after about 17 miles and I had to find my way home. I looked for any familiar sights and finally I recognized where I was and I found my way home.

God calls us onto new roads.

The point is spiritual growth and sanctification. We can't do that by hanging out in the cul de sac! We must venture out in faith and follow where God leads, but we must always keep our eyes on Him. Look for the familiar sights that tell you you are on the right road that leads you home.

New roads can be painful!

When I say "Road Construction" what is the first thing you think of? Frustration? Inconvenience? Anger? I know I do. New road construction can be very disruptive and painful. And it seems like it could be done a lot faster! When you are stuck on the cul de sac of life it is comfortable, not without pain, but comfortable. We know our surroundings and it makes us feel safe. Taking a journey out of the cul de sac onto a new road can be quite frightening, but that is where God wants to take us! Deeper into relationship with Him, learning to trust Him and seeing things you have never seen before. It is an awesome journey and worth the trip.

I like new roads, do you?

wounds colliding

This is going to be hard.



Connection sucks sometimes.



We are meant for connection, but we become exposed. We want to be safe and secure not exposed. Sure we can have superficial "facebook" friends and feel connected. We can choose our words carefully, say something witty, quote someone else, or just provide a list of our activities.



Face to face it can get ugly.



First off let me say, I am wounded and a wreck sometimes because of it. I have started to see it, recognize it, and I have learned to turn to God to replace the lies with truth. It still hurts.



I will admit I am a closet control freak. I even control the fact that I am a control freak. Wow!! When someone else is in charge of my life I get uncomfortable real quick. Sometimes I get downright angry about it. Just try driving in front of me in the fast lane on the interstate doing the speed limit. How dare you tell me how fast I can go. I love to learn so I am constantly asking questions, but if it is something I don't initiate I don't want to be taught anything. I am really struggling with where this comes from. Somewhere in my past I have made a vow that I would never let anyone control my life.

Or better yet, the lie I hear is " You are on your own"!

If I am on my own, I must be in control. I must!

Here is where the pain starts. It starts when you engage in a relationship with someone who either has the same wound, or is truly a helpful loving individual. Your world gets tilted a bit when this happens. You don't know what to do, so you fight for control or you just simply walk away so that you are "on your own". Just one example of how connection can be messy.

I am learning that connection is necessary, I am learning that I am not on my own, and I am learning how to become unoffendable. I have to realize that we are all wounded and we act out of that woundedness. When the wounds collide it can get ugly real quick!

So... here's to being exposed and becoming unoffendable! Ouch!!

proud of me part two

After writing the last blog entry it has been amazing to see how much this saying "are you proud of me?" plays into our lives.

I recently watched "Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs" and I was blown away. Good movie, I really enjoyed it. I have to admit I laughed out loud in parts and cried in parts. I won't do a movie review here I promise. The point is that the main character Flint Lockwood is so wounded and ties so hard to please everyone, especially his father. After having some success at one of his endeavors he tells his father all about it and then screams at him "Are you proud of me?" The father (who is wounded himself) clearly does not know how to respond and ends up not responding.

Ouch!!

The other memorable moment this week was on "Biggest Loser" the TV show. One of the "couples" are actually cousins and they are very close to their family. One of them mentions that the greatest thing he could hear was "I am proud of you" from his father. I don't really have to say this because as you can guess he was crying we he said it.

Why does this affect us so much?? Why do we need this?

I don't think my previous blog entry uncovered any great revelation, but I think it is a start. We need to spend time with God and ask Him, NOT are you proud of me, but who am I, what is my name, who have you created me to be? Once we understand the answer to the latter questions we get perspective of who we are and we can smile, because we know we have purpose, meaning and fulfillment through Him who created us.

are you proud of me?

This one hit me twice last night.

The age old question we want answered, are you proud of me?

First things first before I get into my story. We need to answer who this question is intended for. Is it our best friends? Not generally. We don't require much validation in our friendships, we just require companionship and like mindedness for the most part. Is it our peers at work? Again, not really. How about our bosses, coaches or someone in an authority role? I think we are getting closer! We do want some validation that we are doing good work and that it is appreciated, but at the end of the day when we receive the award, promotion, raise, bonus or trophy we want someone else to validate it and speak the words "I am proud of you". My contention is that we long to hear those words from only one person.

Our Fathers!

I was watching the season premier of "American Idol" last night and I saw a girl get the golden ticket and she was very excited. All of the judges said she was great, so the validation should have been there..... right? I mean Simon Cowell said you were terrific! What did she do after she left the audition room.... she called her father and told him that she was "going to Hollywood", and right after that she asked "are you proud of me?" It made my heart sink, because I know that feeling of having to ask that question.

Right after American Idol we caught Sandra Bullock on Jay Leno. She was discussing her latest film "Blindside" and how she invited her father to the premier. She was excited to see what her father had to say, because she thought it was her best work, and she commented that I guess I still want to know that my dad is proud of me. At 40+ years old she still needed her dad to be proud of her.

I don't know if I ever asked that question out loud to my father, but I know I asked it in so many other ways when I was younger. I tried to join him in what he did, and I tried to do the same sports he did. I think at some point I just gave up even though the longing was still there.

Some will want that question answered from their spouses, but the confirmation they receive will never be enough.

The reality is ........ well, the reality is this is making me quite sad to think about and write about. So... how do we get that question answered finally and completely? That my friend is a process you must go through with God.

Only God can answer that question, not by saying I am proud of you, but in you doing the work of pursuing God and finding out who you are and who God made you to be. Once that is revealed you have the freedom of living a life, not under a cloud of questions about our worth, but with a true understanding of your inheritance as sons and daughters. I am reminded of the story of Jacob (whose name means deceiver) and how he wrestled with God all night and would not let go of Him. God touches Jacob hip so that it was injured but Jacob still held on. Jacob told God he would not let go until God blessed him.

The man (God) asked him, "what is your name?" "Jacob" he answered. Then the man said "Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, because you have struggled with God and with men and have overcome" Genesis 32: 27-28

Jacob would not let go of God until he was blessed. God changed his name from "deceiver", to "he struggles with God". What a blessing. I think that was "I am proud of you" from God.

May you hold onto God tightly and wrestle in prayer about your name and your identity in Him. And don't ever let go!

music

Just listening to some Clash on my iPod and really appreciating the production of the song “Train in Vain”. It has a wonderful stereo effect not only on the instruments, but on the vocals as well. The vocals were recorded twice, once in the left channel and once in the right channel. The effect is very cool. This got me to thinking about the difference between the written music including the lyrics, and the enjoyment of the experience of music.

I liken this to the written words of the Bible and the experience of relationship with God. I mean the music and the Gospel, when it comes down to it, is just ink on paper. The notes are all there and the words to accompany the notes are there, but to just look at it, it doesn’t mean much. Yes, the lyric may be very touching and even if you can read music the melody might be delightful to hum, but until it gets put together with all of the fullness of the instruments and the vocals it is just a sheet of paper.

Same thing with the Bible. There are words on paper. Some of the words are touching, and some of the stories are filled with intrigue and romance. So we read them, choose for them to be true, and then exhibit faith that we trust and believe in God, His son Jesus, and His death and resurrection. We believe Jesus can save us from hell, and we believe that he can wash away our sins and forgive us. But we still live a life that is trying to be more pleasing to God than it is experiencing the relationship with God. We try to follow the rules, we concentrate on the spiritual disciplines, we pray more, and sometime we believe that if we are not continually asking for forgiveness we could die and not go to heaven.

Now if we take the words of the Bible and translate it into the Story that God is telling it can help us understand our story a lot better. We get a glimpse of a God who loves us furiously, and He pursues us continuously.

Let’s take some song examples:

“Think” - Aretha Franklin; when you look at the music the lyrics are good, but the melody seems to stay in one place during the chorus and if you hummed it would sound quite silly. Now listen to Aretha sing it and WOW!! She nails it! So much emotion in her voice and the song comes to life.

“The Messiah – Hallelujah Chorus” – Handel; Here is one where you look at the lyrics and go wow, how many times can they say Hallelujah in one song? It is based on writings in Isaiah and the lyrics are good, but just looking at the lyrics, they are repetitive at best. It is one of the most powerful worship songs ever.

My last example is that of music that sometimes has inconsequential or somewhat abstract lyrics, but the music is exceptional. The Progressive Rock bands of the 70’s come to mind here with their complex music structure including augmented chord progressions, and more of a Classical /Jazz influence than Rock. The music had texture and emotion in the music alone.

God is telling a story that is filled with emotion, rhythm and texture that goes way beyond ink on paper.

Eyes and ears can provide the knowledge, but only the heart can bring you the full experience of God.

i wonder

Yesterday when I was walking through the mall I saw the cutest thing, and it really made me think.  The scene was 3 kids who were between the ages of 3 and 5, and their Dad standing around one of those coin rolling donation thingies.  What do you call them?  You know.. you put a coin in this slot and roll it and it goes around... and around... and around... until after a very long time it seems it drops out of site at the bottom.  It's a big funnel for coins.  Anyway, back to my story.  I saw these kids watching the coins.  Two of them were so small that they crawled up on top of the contraption to get a better view of the coin rolling around.  Even the dad was bent over and smiling watching this coin roll round.  I smiled too!  But then it hit me...

Where is my wonder?  Where is my simple enjoyment of everyday moments?

I know where the are.  They are lost in cynicism.  Lost to the fact that I have been there and done that and nothing much has changed so why bother.  

My heart has become hard.  

It no longer seeks the joy of everything around me.  It says "you know it may look new, but you've seen this before, and it's not worth it.  There is a past pain that keeps me from seeing things the way God intended it to be.  Every moment is new, it hasn't happened before, but somehow I wrap that moment around my past and look at it from a distorted view.  Part of it is genetic, part of it is instinct and part of it is self preservation.  Honestly, I don't like it much.

I wish I could look at each new moment as "new" and with a sense of wonder.  My kids are experiencing everything as new and I don't engage because, again.... been there done that... time to move on.  Even a simple trip to the grocery store could be an adventure, but....

I have been down these aisles before and I know what lies on all of the shelves there is nothing here to experience, so let's just get this over with.

How sad!!

I wish I had more wonder, I wish I could take away the cloud of "past experiences" and let the joy of today flood through me.  I wish I didn't judge new relationships, based on past hurts from others.  

I wish I laughed more.